I am a young lady who has been married for three years. My husband and I live together but I do not love him. When I search my heart, I cannot tell if I ever loved him.
We were in a relationship. That’s how I would define our relationship. There was no commitment or love or anything that defined us as a couple. We were just hanging out and enjoying whatever we could of each other, and then we got married.
I will admit, my husband is a very cool and calm man. He tries his best to provide everything I need. He handles me with tenderness and takes good care of me. I should be happy that I’m married to him but there’s a slight problem that is preventing me from thoroughly enjoying my marriage. It has to do with the way my husband dresses. I don’t like it one bit. He is a mama’s boy so his boyish character reflects in his fashion sense. He would just grab anything and wear it, without considering if it is appropriate for wherever he is going. He doesn’t care whether the shirt matches the trousers or if the shoes are the type he should wear with the clothes. Just as little boys dress without any care about their image, that is how my husband dresses.
Someone would ask, “Why don’t you dress him up then?” Oh, I wish it was that simple. I personally buy clothes, shoes, perfumes, and other accessories for him just so he would look good, the way an adult man should. But my man wouldn’t wear them. He prefers his lack of style to the change I am trying to introduce into his life. What haven’t I tried to make him grow up? But he chooses to stick to what he knows. Sometimes I would tell him, “Stripes should always go with plain.” “Don’t wear slippers with that outfit, it ruins the look.” “Don’t be all over the place when you are talking to people you are not well acquainted with.” Instead of him taking my advice, he tells me; “I am the man in this marriage. Don’t tell me what to do.” And that statement annoys me to the bone.
Because of his behaviour,
I don’t exit with him to public capabilities, seeing as he would find yourself embarrassing me massive time. That is tough for me to say however he isn’t my form of man in any means. And his refusal to study and develop makes it tough for me to like him. If something it has made me develop to hate him with every passing day. The hate has grown so robust that I don’t need to share the identical mattress with him anymore. Though we try very exhausting to conceive, I hate it when he touches me. My revulsion towards him made me attain out to my ex-boyfriend.
This ex was somebody I cherished a lot but it surely was a type of conditions the place love alone couldn’t maintain us. After our breakup, we misplaced contact for a number of years till we reconnected not too long ago. He doesn’t know that I’m married, and I additionally haven’t mentioned something to him. We organized and met. Upon seeing him, all of the love I had for him resurfaced. His love for me has been rekindled as nicely. I do know this, as a result of the day we met he mentioned, “The extra issues change the extra they keep the identical. Numerous years have handed however my emotions for you haven’t handed. Are you courting or married?” I shook my head and answered, “No, I’m single.” He then requested that we give our relationship one other attempt, and I agreed to it. We acquired entangled in our ardour that day and had shuperu.
I don’t remorse what occurred between us. However I’m scared that my ex will discover out that I’m married and go away me. I’m additionally scared that one thing dangerous will occur to each of my males. I’ve heard tales that when a lady cheats on her husband, it has non secular implications. And I don’t need to harm the boys in any means. I simply need to be blissful. And my ex is the person who makes me blissful. I nonetheless love him a lot that I can’t afford to lose him once more. He’s educated, candy, lives a very good life, and he is an ideal gentleman in comparison with my husband who until now has refused to be enlightened and behaves like an uncivilized boy.
I’ve all the time advised my husband, “This marriage isn’t working for me. We must always break up.” He responds each time, “No, we’re not getting a divorce. We made a vow to remain collectively until loss of life do us half, in order that’s what we’ll do.” I actually am bored with the wedding. So I’m questioning if I ought to proceed to stick with my husband and discover happiness with my ex or if I ought to run away with my ex and begin a secret life with him. As a result of if care isn’t taken, I would find yourself getting pregnant for my ex and misinform my husband that the kid is his. I’m additionally apprehensive that one thing dangerous will occur to each males if I proceed with my act. Please is it true that there are non secular implications to what I’m doing? How can I repair this case I discover myself in?